Continued from previous post:
link to part I: here
Next day when he got up, all those thoughts were still ringing in his head. There were certain mails in his e-mail inbox which required urgent attention but he felt boredom towards them. For a moment, he thought of the investment he had put up to come to this place. Investment is a relative term whose success depends on achievement of the purpose. These so called urgent matters had nothing to do with the purpose. But their academic importance couldn’t have been ignored so he quickly finished with those tasks. Somehow, he had always found it very difficult to do routine activities. Each routine activity was like a boring assignment, which he postponed as far as possible. Lunch in college canteen was another such activity. Quickly finishing with lunch, he went for a walk, alone, which was against the famed college culture.
It was bright sunny day, a treat in winter. This was best period in college as far as exhibition of nature’s beauty was concerned. There were hundreds of flowers; of scores of varieties, standing tall on their stem. Their appearance had a sense of vanity. He stood looking at the flowers, absent-mindedly. It was not exactly absent-minded behavior, but he was again lost in his thoughts. Flower, the reproductive part of a plant is never called upon by other parts to prove its worth time & again, he thought. Each part carries its own task as assigned by nature. But human beings often consider it unnecessary to appreciate those who carry human race forward in true sense. They consider it unnecessary to use the cognitive ability they are blessed with to understand nature.
“Nakul!! Where are you lost? I said ‘hi’ twice”, a friend interrupted.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t hear”, he replied.
“Typical of you, what were you thinking?”
“Nothing. Nothing of much importance”
“Don’t you have class?”
“I don’t, probably”
“Haha. OK. I got to go. See you later, bye”
“Bye”
He suddenly became aware of many other students roaming around. Funny it is, he thought. I didn’t see anyone 5-10 min back. From where did they come suddenly? Or were they here then too? Doesn’t matter one way or the other, he thought. He noticed few people. He always observed people very closely. Not always of any particular interest in that person but to identify underlying philosophies behind various behaviors. In some cases, he could actually visualize the psychological developmental stages of people. He could see practical results of some thoughts which he had out rightly rejected in past or thoughts which he believed would lead to dead end. Not surprisingly, he was certainly not the biggest fan of these people. “That could have been me, had I considered it superficial to understand importance of abstractions in solving real-life problems” was what he thought and moved on.
For a change, he decided to visit library. He glanced through the headlines of newspaper. There is something wrong with the world as it is, he thought. That has always been the case. The solution seems so near yet so far. All the news in newspaper seemed inter-related. All news items whether describing successes or failures had a common philosophical base, to think or not. Why can’t anyone else see those links? Or is it that they see but choose to ignore? What is more contemptible? He only knew that thinking on it further was of not much use. He consoled himself saying “today’s world is not that bad, one can still act on his free will.” Yes, one can but the phrase ‘living dangerously’ never seemed more apt. He returned to his room.
The day went by. He was suddenly feeling very lonely in the evening. It caught him by surprise. He hadn’t felt like this for a long time. One part of him was smiling. This was a philosophical-psychological assignment, a tough but interesting assignment and he was very keen on knowing how he himself would proceed on it. He could have sought help, but decided against it. This made the task even tougher. He was always too aware of thought processes going on in his mind and subsequent emotions. So, this was not a random feeling. His teacher had taught that emotions don’t exist stand-alone, as irreducible primary. They are derived sum of one’s value judgments. What was the root cause of this loneliness then? Was it a longing for someone equal, someone who understands, someone who wants same thing or was it a desperate failed attempt in making unreality real? There is always a sure method to solve such problems, he thought. Check the premises. He started pacing in his room back and forth, as was his style. If suffering is what one aims for; that kind of person would desperately try to make unreality real. It seemed inconceivable that he would aim for that. He had never understood the glorification of suffering. It is not something to be taken seriously. Suffering is not part & parcel of life as some religious leaders and philosophers profess. Suffering is like a waste product of a chemical process and waste can never be the purpose of a process. The assignment was more or less solved. If the reason behind loneliness was the other possibility he thought of, it should only be matter of time.
He got back to his work promising himself that he would not let this thought bother him again.
to be continued...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Random walk
He was standing alone, outside a cafeteria leaning against the concrete pillar, thinking, for a long time. There were people passing by, he had responded to their customary greetings, but he barely remembered doing that afterwards. Only thing which he was aware of was the hot cup of coffee he was holding. It was cold, unusually cold and he liked the warm feeling of the cup in hand. Suddenly he felt resentment towards himself for leaning against the pillar. “Why do I need this pillar for support”, he asked himself. He observed the pillar from bottom to top again. “No, the pillar doesn’t care if I need it or not. It is there to support the building structure. This pillar is as concrete as the pillars which I have chosen and constructed carefully for building my character”, he thought. “No, I have never doubted the strength of those pillars and will never doubt; whatever be the setbacks and difficulties. Why then do I constantly feel an attack on foundation of these pillars? I am surely too insignificant in those attackers’ eyes.” He quickly found the answer. “Sure you are too insignificant for them to worry, but the pillars are not. It is precisely those pillars which they want to attack.” “But then, who are ‘they’?” he asked himself. “They are everybody and nobody.” He had a derisive smile. He started walking back.
He recalled certain news items read earlier that day. He couldn’t believe an article titled ‘short selling rumours is not a bad strategy’ can become news. He had read a judgment passed by a Supreme Court judge which even a 6 year old will be ashamed of. But he had studied how there is invariably a ‘reference case’ for everything that happens and how conveniently a judge can abdicate his responsibility to apply rational mind. What someone does at his work is rarely different from his convictions about life, he thought. “What will happen when a manager will abdicate responsibility? He will hire a consultant. What if consultant also does the same? Who cares? It is no longer manager’s responsibility. Observe the basis of some financial instruments, he told himself, and see similar implications in real life. What is mortgaged? – ‘Who cares? Everything is fair’ attitude. What is the collateral? – The moratorium on identifying reality. Where is the derived security sold? – ‘The world market which scoffs at rational mind concept.’ Till when? – Till someone innocent doesn’t question the fundamental, like the child does in emperor’s new clothes story.”
“What is the answer of combined gang of some economists, socialists and altruists to the ‘greed’ resulting because of above theory? Distribute the wealth equally among everyone without bothering who actually created it. By their solution a beggar has righteous claim on a successful person’s wealth. It is not beggar’s fault that the other person was ‘privilieged’. Privileged? In what? Using own mind? That won’t be answered. These altruists then start applying this theory everywhere. So even when what they ask for is fair they don’t find rational argument and the supporting arguments such as “those who are in XLRI by clearing XAT have done so because of coaching institutes so they shouldn’t consider themselves special” are born.
He suddenly remembered her. It brought smile on his face. This is a good way, he thought. I can think of all questions as a conversation with her. “Will the answers be different than what I expect? Let me try.” He had lost his way to his room and reached wrong floor of hostel. “Ahhhh… not again”, he said and resumed the ‘conversation’, walking back. Many issues were discussed, argued and agreed upon. He realized it was too late and reluctantly went to bed, but the conversation continued in his mind. The last conscious question he asked was- “Why can’t I become indifferent to all these things even after understanding their true nature?”
To be continued…..
He recalled certain news items read earlier that day. He couldn’t believe an article titled ‘short selling rumours is not a bad strategy’ can become news. He had read a judgment passed by a Supreme Court judge which even a 6 year old will be ashamed of. But he had studied how there is invariably a ‘reference case’ for everything that happens and how conveniently a judge can abdicate his responsibility to apply rational mind. What someone does at his work is rarely different from his convictions about life, he thought. “What will happen when a manager will abdicate responsibility? He will hire a consultant. What if consultant also does the same? Who cares? It is no longer manager’s responsibility. Observe the basis of some financial instruments, he told himself, and see similar implications in real life. What is mortgaged? – ‘Who cares? Everything is fair’ attitude. What is the collateral? – The moratorium on identifying reality. Where is the derived security sold? – ‘The world market which scoffs at rational mind concept.’ Till when? – Till someone innocent doesn’t question the fundamental, like the child does in emperor’s new clothes story.”
“What is the answer of combined gang of some economists, socialists and altruists to the ‘greed’ resulting because of above theory? Distribute the wealth equally among everyone without bothering who actually created it. By their solution a beggar has righteous claim on a successful person’s wealth. It is not beggar’s fault that the other person was ‘privilieged’. Privileged? In what? Using own mind? That won’t be answered. These altruists then start applying this theory everywhere. So even when what they ask for is fair they don’t find rational argument and the supporting arguments such as “those who are in XLRI by clearing XAT have done so because of coaching institutes so they shouldn’t consider themselves special” are born.
He suddenly remembered her. It brought smile on his face. This is a good way, he thought. I can think of all questions as a conversation with her. “Will the answers be different than what I expect? Let me try.” He had lost his way to his room and reached wrong floor of hostel. “Ahhhh… not again”, he said and resumed the ‘conversation’, walking back. Many issues were discussed, argued and agreed upon. He realized it was too late and reluctantly went to bed, but the conversation continued in his mind. The last conscious question he asked was- “Why can’t I become indifferent to all these things even after understanding their true nature?”
To be continued…..
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Looking back
As the month of December started progressing towards later stage, I wondered about the blogging year that passed by. I never found any difference between December of previous year and January of current, but sometimes it gives added/new found vigour for certain tasks, or so is believed. In March I started blogging. I was pretty sure that ‘lazy Kunal’ is a formidable force to reckon with and this blogging adventure will end after 2-3 posts separated by a gap of 2-3 months. But fortunately lazy Kunal has been mostly away, doing nothing and didn’t interrupt. But suddenly, couple of days back, he had a look at blog site and was shattered to see 19 posts. An immediate meeting of all Kunals was called. The agenda was Blogger Kunal’s increasing influence within Kunal community. All important members including SAIL(sarcastic and irony loving) Kunal, IDGAD(I don’t give a damn) Kunal, cry-baby Kunal, creative Kunal etc were present. To everyone’s surprise, Reddevil Kunal too had come, but not without his laptop. He was utilizing time and was playing FIFA 11 when others were just wasting time chatting before the meeting.
Finally the meeting started. Lazy Kunal had to sleep again so without any formalities he directly got to the point. He said, “This guy, blogger Kunal is just going on & on. I was busy doing nothing. But how can you guys let him become so influential? I certainly expected better from you, SAIL Kunal & IDGAD Kunal” IDGAD Kunal just gave a smirk implying “Dude, have you forgotten my name?” Creative Kunal interrupted. He was acting as a crusader on part of blogger Kunal.
He said, “This guy has given most of us a chance to showcase our talent. I, SAIL, philosopher, Reddevil, everyone; at some point of time, got chance to express our views. Even some of his attempts at humour were decent we must agree. Don’t you all think so?”
“Gooooaaalllll!!! Take that loserfools. Haaaaa. Manchester United rules!!” Reddevil Kunal shouted but realizing the gravity of the situation he stopped his match, pretending to listen.
“Sense of humour? Meh. Every guy has sense of humour” said MCP Kunal.
“What are you saying MCP? Don’t underestimate sense of humour of girls. They have tremendous sense of humour when it comes to relationships.” commented SAIL Kunal.
Everybody had a good laugh. Lazy Kunal put order in place. Philosopher Kunal said, “You guys are good for nothing. I am very happy with his writings on Ayn Rand. I am an eagle and I don’t have time for all you rats” and he left. SAIL Kunal and Reddevil Kunal too agreed that blogger Kunal has taken care of their views. Cry-baby Kunal has become thick skinned and didn’t have any problem on blogger Kunal having pop once in a while at his ‘failed adventures’. In the end it was agreed that blogger Kunal is harmless and his endeavours, while they last, are good for everyone, except lazy Kunal. Lazy Kunal was disappointed but he had already missed his sleeping time, so he blocked the blog site on his laptop and went to sleep.
Looking back from blogger Kunal’s point of view, blogging has been amazing experience. It is amazing how things become clearer and how certain errors become apparent once the thoughts are written down. After first few blogs, there was a feeling, “will I write ever again?” That feeling is fading away though traces of it still remain. I always have a line in mind when quizzed on passion for football and Manchester United: ‘There is thin line between hobby and obsession. I have long since crossed that.’ Passion/love turning into obsession has been true in certain other cases as well, and it is not necessarily good always but I hope this writing hobby takes a higher step. It might be a ‘conceited assumption’ that I write well, similar to the title ‘perplexed omniscient’ but writing has certainly made the MBA life easier. I got a chance to visit blogs of many people and it was amazing to read certain blogs and most importantly the complex thought process behind it. The writings of my two favourite authors, P.L. Deshpande and Ayn Rand have more than convinced me that writing is an art and it was great satisfaction to contribute a drop in this ocean of art.
The most honest writing can come out only if one writes for himself/herself, at least in the early stages of developing one’s own abstraction and that’s what I have tried to do. Once that conviction has been reached, then only one can address the sort of audience one intends to address. This is not an end of some magnum opus or some famous play, it is far from it but still I would like to thank those few but regular visitors of my blog for taking the effort of expressing their views, conforming or non-conforming. Special thanks to those very few who have understood the intention of posts to the fullest, nothing is more satisfactory to a writer than a reader grasping the full meaning. Hopefully lazy Kunal won’t interrupt me again.
Finally the meeting started. Lazy Kunal had to sleep again so without any formalities he directly got to the point. He said, “This guy, blogger Kunal is just going on & on. I was busy doing nothing. But how can you guys let him become so influential? I certainly expected better from you, SAIL Kunal & IDGAD Kunal” IDGAD Kunal just gave a smirk implying “Dude, have you forgotten my name?” Creative Kunal interrupted. He was acting as a crusader on part of blogger Kunal.
He said, “This guy has given most of us a chance to showcase our talent. I, SAIL, philosopher, Reddevil, everyone; at some point of time, got chance to express our views. Even some of his attempts at humour were decent we must agree. Don’t you all think so?”
“Gooooaaalllll!!! Take that loserfools. Haaaaa. Manchester United rules!!” Reddevil Kunal shouted but realizing the gravity of the situation he stopped his match, pretending to listen.
“Sense of humour? Meh. Every guy has sense of humour” said MCP Kunal.
“What are you saying MCP? Don’t underestimate sense of humour of girls. They have tremendous sense of humour when it comes to relationships.” commented SAIL Kunal.
Everybody had a good laugh. Lazy Kunal put order in place. Philosopher Kunal said, “You guys are good for nothing. I am very happy with his writings on Ayn Rand. I am an eagle and I don’t have time for all you rats” and he left. SAIL Kunal and Reddevil Kunal too agreed that blogger Kunal has taken care of their views. Cry-baby Kunal has become thick skinned and didn’t have any problem on blogger Kunal having pop once in a while at his ‘failed adventures’. In the end it was agreed that blogger Kunal is harmless and his endeavours, while they last, are good for everyone, except lazy Kunal. Lazy Kunal was disappointed but he had already missed his sleeping time, so he blocked the blog site on his laptop and went to sleep.
Looking back from blogger Kunal’s point of view, blogging has been amazing experience. It is amazing how things become clearer and how certain errors become apparent once the thoughts are written down. After first few blogs, there was a feeling, “will I write ever again?” That feeling is fading away though traces of it still remain. I always have a line in mind when quizzed on passion for football and Manchester United: ‘There is thin line between hobby and obsession. I have long since crossed that.’ Passion/love turning into obsession has been true in certain other cases as well, and it is not necessarily good always but I hope this writing hobby takes a higher step. It might be a ‘conceited assumption’ that I write well, similar to the title ‘perplexed omniscient’ but writing has certainly made the MBA life easier. I got a chance to visit blogs of many people and it was amazing to read certain blogs and most importantly the complex thought process behind it. The writings of my two favourite authors, P.L. Deshpande and Ayn Rand have more than convinced me that writing is an art and it was great satisfaction to contribute a drop in this ocean of art.
The most honest writing can come out only if one writes for himself/herself, at least in the early stages of developing one’s own abstraction and that’s what I have tried to do. Once that conviction has been reached, then only one can address the sort of audience one intends to address. This is not an end of some magnum opus or some famous play, it is far from it but still I would like to thank those few but regular visitors of my blog for taking the effort of expressing their views, conforming or non-conforming. Special thanks to those very few who have understood the intention of posts to the fullest, nothing is more satisfactory to a writer than a reader grasping the full meaning. Hopefully lazy Kunal won’t interrupt me again.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Once upon a time
Once upon a time, there existed a prosperous animal kingdom which was poised to be a superpower in near future. The government used to tell all animals that it was a true socialist kingdom, dedicated to the welfare of animals. The government was run by pigs. The general population in kingdom always used to work collectively because they were taught by pigs that each animal exists only for fellow animal. Almost all animals used to hate pigs, but they thought they were helpless. Pigs had also taught other animals that tigers, lions and elephants were very greedy species and have no morality. Tigers and Lions were owners of big businesses. Pigs however, had jackals on their payroll, specifically assigned the task to appease tigers and make sure that they pay taxes. The jackals and pigs had a nexus with wolves who used to run news channels in the kingdom. There were suddenly too many wolves in the kingdom all around, creating utter chaos. Monkeys were the most sought after specie to work in news channels.
Amidst all these, towards eastern corner of the kingdom existed a highly rated management institute. All animals wanted to study there, but only rats were admitted. Rats were supposed to be very talented individuals but they always professed the importance of collective. All rats used to race to get bigger pie of cheese. All the naive animals outside the institutes used to envy rats. Rats had a very peculiar way of going about their professional life. They had never identified what exactly is ‘life’ but they loved ‘segmentation’ and classified it as professional, personal, social etc, each segment supposed to have different codes of ethics. It never occurred to them that ethics ought to be objective, purely based on logic and reason. They had only one passion, networking. All codes were defined as per this passion. They had learnt early in a totally useless course that “only those rats who do networking succeed in organizations. “ Most of them considered learnings from important and core subjects as redundant and spend most of the time getting ‘contacts’ and more ‘contacts’. The rat which knew more number of rats was considered to be ‘made for the future’. When in doubt about the ‘need of networking’, they used to console each other by telling, ‘but there is no other way to succeed!!”. Eagle was the animal which rats hated the most. Eagle used to fly alone at high altitudes. Rats, coming out of their rat hole, used to bare their teeth at eagle. Eagle, oblivious to what is happening on the ground, used to fly alone hoping that at least someone will reach the heights he has reached, as it was lonely up there. Rats’ philosophy on the other hand was about getting everyone down to their level, so everyone has ‘level playing field’.
In the outer world, a scandal involving some modern technology was exposed. Tapes were released showing the ugly nature of the nexus between pigs, wolves and jackals. The general animal kingdom talked about it for few days and forgot because they were buoyed by a huge landslide victory of a pig in backward area of the kingdom. This pig was thought to be less corrupt and every animal hoped that he will bring that area back to glory. Animals were hysterically telling other animals, “See, not everything is bad. There is some good left somewhere. God is there.” Nobody for sure knew what this meant and for that matter what would happen next day, but it became fashion to forecast that this pig would transform the kingdom. It was not a belief formed from any study or information, but somewhere inside, they had this fear, “I hope it doesn’t turn out the other way, we can only hope.”
Rats too had joined the hysterical feel good fever, but they were more concerned about the scandal. “How can pigs, jackals and wolves form such nexus?” “How can they lobby?” Somewhere, it sounded similar to networking concept, but every rat hastily put that thought out of its mind. They convinced themselves, “these animals are public servants, whereas networking is the necessity of private life of uncommon animals like us.” Call it irony, but a scandal broke out at the same time in this famed institute. This institute, which was famous for branding anything and everything done in institute as ‘culture’, didn’t quite know what to do about the scandal. There was a ‘rat affairs council’ (RAC), in the institute dealing with all the rats related activities. RAC was (in)famous for tweaking the rules as per its whims, precisely because nobody cared to remember what were the rules last time. The rat involved in scandal was summoned to face an audit. All rats had gathered to witness the drama. Rats were used to having useless discussions for hours but sounding as if they were discussing something gravely important. So this being an issue of grave importance and consequence was discussed for 2-3 hours. All kind of words such as ethics, moral right, moral obligation, conscience etc were thrown into discussion though no one actually cared about them. Rat which did the scandal was trying to save itself while those on the other side were trying to get this rat ousted. They didn’t give a damn about ethics. Their basic problem was, “How can this rat try to get bigger pie at our expense?” Nobody cared to admit, but other rats were actually ‘disappointed’ that they were not the benefiting party of scandal. In rat and pig world, committing sin was not a crime, getting caught was.
Eagle, for once decided to stop and think, “What it is that keeps this mess going?” Eagle had studied history of human race which was extinct few centuries ago. It recalled how it became extinct and saw parallels between current animal world and extinct human world. It recalled the premise on which pigs, rats and jackals survive. A teaching learnt from a philosopher who was truly ‘human’. As long as no one names the exact nature of what is going on, anything and everything works.
Eagle pronounced the judgment and named the exact nature. Those who had the capacity to understand, but were often cursed for that very reason, withdrew support and left the kingdom for a place where only eagles had dared previously. Those who continued to evade reality perished fighting among themselves.
Amidst all these, towards eastern corner of the kingdom existed a highly rated management institute. All animals wanted to study there, but only rats were admitted. Rats were supposed to be very talented individuals but they always professed the importance of collective. All rats used to race to get bigger pie of cheese. All the naive animals outside the institutes used to envy rats. Rats had a very peculiar way of going about their professional life. They had never identified what exactly is ‘life’ but they loved ‘segmentation’ and classified it as professional, personal, social etc, each segment supposed to have different codes of ethics. It never occurred to them that ethics ought to be objective, purely based on logic and reason. They had only one passion, networking. All codes were defined as per this passion. They had learnt early in a totally useless course that “only those rats who do networking succeed in organizations. “ Most of them considered learnings from important and core subjects as redundant and spend most of the time getting ‘contacts’ and more ‘contacts’. The rat which knew more number of rats was considered to be ‘made for the future’. When in doubt about the ‘need of networking’, they used to console each other by telling, ‘but there is no other way to succeed!!”. Eagle was the animal which rats hated the most. Eagle used to fly alone at high altitudes. Rats, coming out of their rat hole, used to bare their teeth at eagle. Eagle, oblivious to what is happening on the ground, used to fly alone hoping that at least someone will reach the heights he has reached, as it was lonely up there. Rats’ philosophy on the other hand was about getting everyone down to their level, so everyone has ‘level playing field’.
In the outer world, a scandal involving some modern technology was exposed. Tapes were released showing the ugly nature of the nexus between pigs, wolves and jackals. The general animal kingdom talked about it for few days and forgot because they were buoyed by a huge landslide victory of a pig in backward area of the kingdom. This pig was thought to be less corrupt and every animal hoped that he will bring that area back to glory. Animals were hysterically telling other animals, “See, not everything is bad. There is some good left somewhere. God is there.” Nobody for sure knew what this meant and for that matter what would happen next day, but it became fashion to forecast that this pig would transform the kingdom. It was not a belief formed from any study or information, but somewhere inside, they had this fear, “I hope it doesn’t turn out the other way, we can only hope.”
Rats too had joined the hysterical feel good fever, but they were more concerned about the scandal. “How can pigs, jackals and wolves form such nexus?” “How can they lobby?” Somewhere, it sounded similar to networking concept, but every rat hastily put that thought out of its mind. They convinced themselves, “these animals are public servants, whereas networking is the necessity of private life of uncommon animals like us.” Call it irony, but a scandal broke out at the same time in this famed institute. This institute, which was famous for branding anything and everything done in institute as ‘culture’, didn’t quite know what to do about the scandal. There was a ‘rat affairs council’ (RAC), in the institute dealing with all the rats related activities. RAC was (in)famous for tweaking the rules as per its whims, precisely because nobody cared to remember what were the rules last time. The rat involved in scandal was summoned to face an audit. All rats had gathered to witness the drama. Rats were used to having useless discussions for hours but sounding as if they were discussing something gravely important. So this being an issue of grave importance and consequence was discussed for 2-3 hours. All kind of words such as ethics, moral right, moral obligation, conscience etc were thrown into discussion though no one actually cared about them. Rat which did the scandal was trying to save itself while those on the other side were trying to get this rat ousted. They didn’t give a damn about ethics. Their basic problem was, “How can this rat try to get bigger pie at our expense?” Nobody cared to admit, but other rats were actually ‘disappointed’ that they were not the benefiting party of scandal. In rat and pig world, committing sin was not a crime, getting caught was.
Eagle, for once decided to stop and think, “What it is that keeps this mess going?” Eagle had studied history of human race which was extinct few centuries ago. It recalled how it became extinct and saw parallels between current animal world and extinct human world. It recalled the premise on which pigs, rats and jackals survive. A teaching learnt from a philosopher who was truly ‘human’. As long as no one names the exact nature of what is going on, anything and everything works.
Eagle pronounced the judgment and named the exact nature. Those who had the capacity to understand, but were often cursed for that very reason, withdrew support and left the kingdom for a place where only eagles had dared previously. Those who continued to evade reality perished fighting among themselves.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
The dream I was waiting for
It was late in the night. After long time, I was reading Atlas shrugged again, the epic novel of Ayn Rand, a book claimed to be 2nd only to bible both in sales and influence. Not sure if the kind of influence is same, that is not what I intend to judge here. While reading I felt, how wonderful it would have been had I met Ayn Rand. This feeling was not unusual though, more so because it is not usual or ‘normal’ to be crazily in love with someone who died 3 years before you were born and if that is the case, longing to meet is natural. I had felt it before as well, but that night I had too many questions in mind, questions which probably no one else can answer. I fell asleep, thinking.
I was walking through the woods, alone. It was quite pleasant morning with forest birds chirping all around. A river was flowing through the forest, nonchalantly. At some distance sun rays had penetrated through the trees and the stream was glowing because of the rays. The warm rays had cause mist to rise in the forest. I suddenly saw a lady with fishing rod sitting at the bank. I walked towards her. It was Ayn Rand, with her dark black hair and big eyes. She looked at me and smiled. She looked amused. Probably she didn’t expect anyone to see there. I, on the other hand thought that it was inevitable that she was here, in this heaven like setting.
I said, “I have run away from the world, not because of cowardice, but there were too many questions bothering me.” I started talking without ‘Hi, Hello’ as if restarting a conversation stopped few days back.
“Hello, who are you?” she asked.
“I am Kunal Nichkawade, from India, a big fan of yours” I answered.
“Okay, what are the questions that are troubling you?”
"Ohhh, a great many. Probably I am too dumb to find the answers."
“That is for you to worry about. Figuring out if you are dumb or smart. I am more interested in knowing the questions.”
I told her about the supposedly ‘career defining process’ I had witnessed in my college few days back. The process which I think is a farce. I told her that probably I had no right to criticise or even to judge others, particularly when so many people work so hard to make the process a success.
“One should never fail to pronounce moral judgement” she said. I suddenly remembered an article of hers where she had explained this concept. “But judging someone doesn’t involve feelings or instincts. It is completely objective and rational process. One must always be prepared to answer “Why?” Tell me, why were you disturbed if everything went well?”
Because of the attitude of ‘All is well that ends well.’ This implies that end justifies the means, which I don’t agree to”, I replied.
“I hope someday people will learn that words have exact and literal meaning. Neither does end justifies the means nor do the means justify the end. There is no dichotomy. “ She said.
“Well, there is something which is troubling me more”, I continued. “ I was interested in the field of microfinance. Whatever labels of ‘selflessness’, ‘helping the poor’ etc people might put to the field, I had purely selfish reason of having a better society to live in, and somewhere helping people realise that independence is their basic right, but one’s ability is that one should trust and depend on and nothing else to realise that right. But for a short time when I worked in the field, I heard people say “need is greater than ability.” The person who said this was working tirelessly for years in small village for poor. I rarely fail in judging people and I knew that this person had no wrong intentions while working in this field. I can see the struggle he had put up over the years. I was wondering what made him utter the above sentence. “I pay my field worker more than my C.A. because field worker has 4 children while the C.A. is single” he explained. I never thought it was possible for anyone to say so. Is it the fault of the C.A. that he is more qualified and that the other person has 4 children? During dinner on the same day, I heard the field worker discuss with other field workers how the C.A was getting more influential in the organisation and that he should be stopped. He was speaking in local dialect of Marathi, forgetting that I am from same region and very well understood the dialect. The person running the organization will probably get baffled when he will see rift in the organization, but that would be the exact result of the philosophy of ‘need is greater than ability’. I have heard people say “financial inclusion is not a policy of choice but policy of compulsion.” The phrase is getting more popular nowadays. People hearing it are overwhelmed by the sentence and repeat it without understanding the proper meaning, thinking that it ought to help poor and punish rich. Compulsion? By whom? On whom? By what standards? Nobody will think. The mere fact that government is getting involved, but later clarifying that organisations must self regulate shows that regulation at later stage from government is inevitable. It is not too difficult to figure out who gains and who is punished when such philosophies are established. In the former case it were the field worker and the C.A respectively while in later case it will be ‘policy makers’ who will gain and banks who will be under compulsion to provide credit will lose. It doesn’t require an economics or banking expert to figure out the impact this compulsion will put on economy. The loans in microfinance can’t be compulsion. Those who want to provide loans can do so voluntarily.”
“Well, you are not as dumb as I thought” she said chuckling. “Tell me, isn’t interest in social sector for a student of my philosophy a contradiction?” she asked mockingly, like a teacher who knowingly commits a mistake.
“Contradictions don’t exist!” I replied instantaneously as if I had said something she didn’t know, quickly realising it was her and her teacher Aristotle’s philosophy which was in back of my mind. She was smiling. I thought, non-contradiction is the basis used to prove irrationality of an irrational number while learning surds in mathematics, yet the seeming contradictions are easily accepted in life.
“I don’t find happiness anywhere”, I said gravely. Neither in people who got ‘career-defining’ jobs for themselves nor in those who are working for others. That is why I ran away.
“Kunal, when were you most happy?”
I felt glad she addressed me by my first name. “While reading Atlas shrugged” I replied.
“Why?”
“Because Francisco d’Anconia was there, always.”
I saw a smile of satisfaction on her face. “Well, you have got your answer. The motive power of one’s happiness is within that person. It can’t be achieved by following random whimsical philosophies. What I wanted people to understand that it is not the supernatural talent of Francisco which is impossible but it is his spirit which is. It is not because that spirit is superhuman. It is because it is human in true sense as it is rational yet which is something the world has never seen. When that spirit is realised by everyone, no Francisco d’Anconia or John Galt will have to go in search of Atlantis”
I thanked her and waved good bye. I had found a new vigour to get back to work. Generally nice dreams are broken abruptly, this one didn’t.
I was walking through the woods, alone. It was quite pleasant morning with forest birds chirping all around. A river was flowing through the forest, nonchalantly. At some distance sun rays had penetrated through the trees and the stream was glowing because of the rays. The warm rays had cause mist to rise in the forest. I suddenly saw a lady with fishing rod sitting at the bank. I walked towards her. It was Ayn Rand, with her dark black hair and big eyes. She looked at me and smiled. She looked amused. Probably she didn’t expect anyone to see there. I, on the other hand thought that it was inevitable that she was here, in this heaven like setting.
I said, “I have run away from the world, not because of cowardice, but there were too many questions bothering me.” I started talking without ‘Hi, Hello’ as if restarting a conversation stopped few days back.
“Hello, who are you?” she asked.
“I am Kunal Nichkawade, from India, a big fan of yours” I answered.
“Okay, what are the questions that are troubling you?”
"Ohhh, a great many. Probably I am too dumb to find the answers."
“That is for you to worry about. Figuring out if you are dumb or smart. I am more interested in knowing the questions.”
I told her about the supposedly ‘career defining process’ I had witnessed in my college few days back. The process which I think is a farce. I told her that probably I had no right to criticise or even to judge others, particularly when so many people work so hard to make the process a success.
“One should never fail to pronounce moral judgement” she said. I suddenly remembered an article of hers where she had explained this concept. “But judging someone doesn’t involve feelings or instincts. It is completely objective and rational process. One must always be prepared to answer “Why?” Tell me, why were you disturbed if everything went well?”
Because of the attitude of ‘All is well that ends well.’ This implies that end justifies the means, which I don’t agree to”, I replied.
“I hope someday people will learn that words have exact and literal meaning. Neither does end justifies the means nor do the means justify the end. There is no dichotomy. “ She said.
“Well, there is something which is troubling me more”, I continued. “ I was interested in the field of microfinance. Whatever labels of ‘selflessness’, ‘helping the poor’ etc people might put to the field, I had purely selfish reason of having a better society to live in, and somewhere helping people realise that independence is their basic right, but one’s ability is that one should trust and depend on and nothing else to realise that right. But for a short time when I worked in the field, I heard people say “need is greater than ability.” The person who said this was working tirelessly for years in small village for poor. I rarely fail in judging people and I knew that this person had no wrong intentions while working in this field. I can see the struggle he had put up over the years. I was wondering what made him utter the above sentence. “I pay my field worker more than my C.A. because field worker has 4 children while the C.A. is single” he explained. I never thought it was possible for anyone to say so. Is it the fault of the C.A. that he is more qualified and that the other person has 4 children? During dinner on the same day, I heard the field worker discuss with other field workers how the C.A was getting more influential in the organisation and that he should be stopped. He was speaking in local dialect of Marathi, forgetting that I am from same region and very well understood the dialect. The person running the organization will probably get baffled when he will see rift in the organization, but that would be the exact result of the philosophy of ‘need is greater than ability’. I have heard people say “financial inclusion is not a policy of choice but policy of compulsion.” The phrase is getting more popular nowadays. People hearing it are overwhelmed by the sentence and repeat it without understanding the proper meaning, thinking that it ought to help poor and punish rich. Compulsion? By whom? On whom? By what standards? Nobody will think. The mere fact that government is getting involved, but later clarifying that organisations must self regulate shows that regulation at later stage from government is inevitable. It is not too difficult to figure out who gains and who is punished when such philosophies are established. In the former case it were the field worker and the C.A respectively while in later case it will be ‘policy makers’ who will gain and banks who will be under compulsion to provide credit will lose. It doesn’t require an economics or banking expert to figure out the impact this compulsion will put on economy. The loans in microfinance can’t be compulsion. Those who want to provide loans can do so voluntarily.”
“Well, you are not as dumb as I thought” she said chuckling. “Tell me, isn’t interest in social sector for a student of my philosophy a contradiction?” she asked mockingly, like a teacher who knowingly commits a mistake.
“Contradictions don’t exist!” I replied instantaneously as if I had said something she didn’t know, quickly realising it was her and her teacher Aristotle’s philosophy which was in back of my mind. She was smiling. I thought, non-contradiction is the basis used to prove irrationality of an irrational number while learning surds in mathematics, yet the seeming contradictions are easily accepted in life.
“I don’t find happiness anywhere”, I said gravely. Neither in people who got ‘career-defining’ jobs for themselves nor in those who are working for others. That is why I ran away.
“Kunal, when were you most happy?”
I felt glad she addressed me by my first name. “While reading Atlas shrugged” I replied.
“Why?”
“Because Francisco d’Anconia was there, always.”
I saw a smile of satisfaction on her face. “Well, you have got your answer. The motive power of one’s happiness is within that person. It can’t be achieved by following random whimsical philosophies. What I wanted people to understand that it is not the supernatural talent of Francisco which is impossible but it is his spirit which is. It is not because that spirit is superhuman. It is because it is human in true sense as it is rational yet which is something the world has never seen. When that spirit is realised by everyone, no Francisco d’Anconia or John Galt will have to go in search of Atlantis”
I thanked her and waved good bye. I had found a new vigour to get back to work. Generally nice dreams are broken abruptly, this one didn’t.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
She
I met her couple of years back. I was hesitant to be friends with her at first. I was acquainted with couple of her cousin sisters and was more interested in them. But there was some special bond between us. I still remember the first date. It went very well. I was very shy and didn’t open up in the beginning, but she probably knew instinctively how to get me talking. I was thinking about her all night and even next day. Experienced people told me that it is ‘normal’ and it happens to everyone. I had really enjoyed the first date and was very keen to know her better but there were relationship gurus everywhere giving me gyaan on ‘how to take it slowly’ and ‘not to scare her away’. But I knew that this relationship was something special and as always I will make my own rules rather than trusting and accepting the norms.
The disappointing part was that couple of my best friends were not really impressed by this relationship. They tried hard to convince me that this relationship won’t take me anywhere. Her big brother is a cool guy and was very happy to see us together. But my friends even hated my friendship with him and basically wanted to keep me away from the entire family. The worst thing happened on eve of New Year when couple of friends of mine, she and I had gone out. I could see that she was trying hard to clear the misunderstandings but my friends were very stubborn. It was one of the very rare moments when I saw her sad and depressed. This incident however, made our relationship stronger. My friends eventually gave up for sake of our friendship but were still advising me to take it slowly.
A year later, I was selected in one of the prestigious MBA institutes in country and had to leave job and the city. When I told her, she immediately said, “I will accompany you; I promise I won’t be much trouble.” I checked with some people who had studied there and they told me that it is perfectly possible to take her with me. I was very happy. The first year was fun and we did many wild things together. A small private detail: she really goes down very well. It is an art and she is a master. Gradually, we have settled into a more mature relationship, but the fun and crazy part is still there.
The best part about her is that she brings out the best in me and she also brings out the worst in me. I can share any problem with her and amazingly, she has solution for every problem. No matter how many different professional streams I have selected or will select, at heart I will always be a philosopher and she has been a major reason behind this.
Of late, I am reconsidering our relationship. It hurts to even think about it, but I thought probably it is for greater good of both of us. When I shared this with her, she laughed. She was not at all angry. Probably she is too sure that I won’t do so or probably she doesn’t believe in the shallow concept of ‘break-ups’ and believes in the age old concept of ‘made for each other.’
I am relieved. I too have stopped thinking too far in future and instead concentrate on enjoying our time together. There is no one like her on this earth. When she is around, she is the world for me. She is my lovely Scotch whiskey.
The disappointing part was that couple of my best friends were not really impressed by this relationship. They tried hard to convince me that this relationship won’t take me anywhere. Her big brother is a cool guy and was very happy to see us together. But my friends even hated my friendship with him and basically wanted to keep me away from the entire family. The worst thing happened on eve of New Year when couple of friends of mine, she and I had gone out. I could see that she was trying hard to clear the misunderstandings but my friends were very stubborn. It was one of the very rare moments when I saw her sad and depressed. This incident however, made our relationship stronger. My friends eventually gave up for sake of our friendship but were still advising me to take it slowly.
A year later, I was selected in one of the prestigious MBA institutes in country and had to leave job and the city. When I told her, she immediately said, “I will accompany you; I promise I won’t be much trouble.” I checked with some people who had studied there and they told me that it is perfectly possible to take her with me. I was very happy. The first year was fun and we did many wild things together. A small private detail: she really goes down very well. It is an art and she is a master. Gradually, we have settled into a more mature relationship, but the fun and crazy part is still there.
The best part about her is that she brings out the best in me and she also brings out the worst in me. I can share any problem with her and amazingly, she has solution for every problem. No matter how many different professional streams I have selected or will select, at heart I will always be a philosopher and she has been a major reason behind this.
Of late, I am reconsidering our relationship. It hurts to even think about it, but I thought probably it is for greater good of both of us. When I shared this with her, she laughed. She was not at all angry. Probably she is too sure that I won’t do so or probably she doesn’t believe in the shallow concept of ‘break-ups’ and believes in the age old concept of ‘made for each other.’
I am relieved. I too have stopped thinking too far in future and instead concentrate on enjoying our time together. There is no one like her on this earth. When she is around, she is the world for me. She is my lovely Scotch whiskey.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Things as they are and things as they ought to be
I had started writing something on this topic few months back but stopped abruptly. While writing, my argument was in favour of how things ought to be. The context was each and every field, right from politics, philosophy to student life and the purpose was general gyaan on how things ideally should be. But in the end, I thought that it is not wise to go on advising the world and instead I should look after what I do, like the famous saying ‘be the change you wish to see’.
But few days back, I was having an interesting argument with a friend on John Nash vs. Adam Smith and in the course of discussion, my friend said, “theories are meant to explain how thing are, not how they should be.” Though my initial reaction was “nooooooo”, later I had to question myself because this friend almost always talks sense. Was I being too idealistic? I did quite a bit of brainstorming on the topic as I felt everyone, knowingly or unknowingly answers this question to himself/herself and more often than not, it decides course of his/her behaviour. Probably the contexts in which we both were talking were different, but still the question demanded answer. What should be the approach?
The logical answer seems to be seeing things as they are. That means getting hold of reality and acting accordingly. But what if the reality is not what it should be? What if it is based on wrong premise? It might be moral issues like, ‘it is almost impossible to get things done in government offices without bribe’- a common belief among people. It might be small issues like college administration making a big deal of ‘registration’ at the beginning of each term which is nothing but a signature on a piece of paper. (As if a student who has paid 10 lakhs is going to run away in between the course!!) It might be issues like business practices or company’s production line or introducing new financial instruments in market. It might also be about economists forming theories based on so-called reality, like Keynes. I read on Greg Mankiw‘s blog where he said, "The sad truth is that we economists don't know very much about what drives the animal spirits of economic participants. Until we figure it out, it is best to be suspicious of any policy whose benefits are supposed to work through the amorphous channel of 'confidence." I don’t even see the point of ‘understanding animal spirits’. Whereas not optimising production line will hamper only that company’s progress, wrong economic policies and wrong decisions in financial markets can hamper global economy. There is no point in discussing the recent global crisis again here, but if we continue to scoff at the basic premise of human beings as rational animal, and form policies saying, “Nothing is right or wrong, see the reality and act accordingly”, be rest assured that this so-called reality will change often. It will be a vicious cycle.
The other day I was reading ‘The Toyota way field book’. If Taichi Ohno would have left things as they were, probably we would have never seen ‘lean manufacturing’. Toyota way suggests that failing and correcting the shortcomings is a way to improve results in long term. Taichi Ohno had a vision how things should be and he patiently worked towards it and got the result. He surely didn’t bother about the concepts like ‘bounded rationality’ or ‘animal spirits in human beings’.
So, I think my friend is right in saying “understanding things as they are is very important.” It would always be the first step, no matter which field it is. But after that, reason and ethics would be the tools which would help in comparing with things as they ought to be and identify the gap. In the end, in my opinion, the ultimate aim should be striving for things as they ought to be.
But few days back, I was having an interesting argument with a friend on John Nash vs. Adam Smith and in the course of discussion, my friend said, “theories are meant to explain how thing are, not how they should be.” Though my initial reaction was “nooooooo”, later I had to question myself because this friend almost always talks sense. Was I being too idealistic? I did quite a bit of brainstorming on the topic as I felt everyone, knowingly or unknowingly answers this question to himself/herself and more often than not, it decides course of his/her behaviour. Probably the contexts in which we both were talking were different, but still the question demanded answer. What should be the approach?
The logical answer seems to be seeing things as they are. That means getting hold of reality and acting accordingly. But what if the reality is not what it should be? What if it is based on wrong premise? It might be moral issues like, ‘it is almost impossible to get things done in government offices without bribe’- a common belief among people. It might be small issues like college administration making a big deal of ‘registration’ at the beginning of each term which is nothing but a signature on a piece of paper. (As if a student who has paid 10 lakhs is going to run away in between the course!!) It might be issues like business practices or company’s production line or introducing new financial instruments in market. It might also be about economists forming theories based on so-called reality, like Keynes. I read on Greg Mankiw‘s blog where he said, "The sad truth is that we economists don't know very much about what drives the animal spirits of economic participants. Until we figure it out, it is best to be suspicious of any policy whose benefits are supposed to work through the amorphous channel of 'confidence." I don’t even see the point of ‘understanding animal spirits’. Whereas not optimising production line will hamper only that company’s progress, wrong economic policies and wrong decisions in financial markets can hamper global economy. There is no point in discussing the recent global crisis again here, but if we continue to scoff at the basic premise of human beings as rational animal, and form policies saying, “Nothing is right or wrong, see the reality and act accordingly”, be rest assured that this so-called reality will change often. It will be a vicious cycle.
The other day I was reading ‘The Toyota way field book’. If Taichi Ohno would have left things as they were, probably we would have never seen ‘lean manufacturing’. Toyota way suggests that failing and correcting the shortcomings is a way to improve results in long term. Taichi Ohno had a vision how things should be and he patiently worked towards it and got the result. He surely didn’t bother about the concepts like ‘bounded rationality’ or ‘animal spirits in human beings’.
So, I think my friend is right in saying “understanding things as they are is very important.” It would always be the first step, no matter which field it is. But after that, reason and ethics would be the tools which would help in comparing with things as they ought to be and identify the gap. In the end, in my opinion, the ultimate aim should be striving for things as they ought to be.
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