Tuesday, July 27, 2010

One more time

Many a times, we spend/waste time contemplating what could have been. Sometimes it becomes an obsession. An obsession so strong that we forget ‘what has been’. We forget the most memorable incidents which happened in life at some point or another, some good, some not so good. I am not trying to advocate dwelling on the past but sometimes, a remembrance of incidences from past helps in motivation, sometimes it helps in bringing a smile on face, sometimes it reminds of bitter experience and you promise yourself you would never put yourself in situation like that again. But most special are those moments which you want to relive again. Moments when recalled immediately bring the response ‘one more time’.

Today I tried to do reverse. Keeping ‘one more time’ phrase as a constant in mind, I tried to move the sliding scale through the lifetime, at various phases to check which incidences occur like a flash, without any effort.

I want to celebrate diwali like in childhood one more time. Get up little prior to dawn when it is not too dark but not too bright as well and light up fulzhadis (sparklers firecrackers) and try to draw temporary designs of glow from fulzhadis in the air. I want to visit those days of school one more time when I would finish my Tiffin during classes or during 5 min break so that the 20 min recess can be fully utilized for playing. I want to write diary one more time as I used to, capturing small, irrelevant details but writing in a manner as if I am a great author.

I want to go to my junior college one more time, when I didn’t even used to know quiz/mid-term time-table and used to carry ‘supporting material’ of all subjects and then trust my ‘special ability’ to get through. I want to live 4 years of engineering one more time. I want to relive that moment one more time when I decide to change my section in 2nd year, which till date is one of the best decisions of my life.

I want to enjoy those initial training days in HSBC one more time, when ‘one gets paid for getting trained’.I want to work with my last team in HSBC one more time. I want to relive those days in ‘Sharda residency complex, Erandwane, Pune’ one more time, creating crazy ‘kaka songs’ along with the best friends in life and literally rolling on floor laughing. I want to spend weekends exploring new restaurants and dreaming of having my ‘one-of-its-kind’ restaurant one day.

I want to meet her one more time, watch her first getting amused and then laughing at my silly jokes and use these moments as an excuse to keep looking at her. I want to tell her how much I love her fully knowing that she doesn’t feel the same way and then enjoy the feeling of burden being lifted from my shoulders.

I want to cry uncontrollably in happiness one more time like I did when Manchester United beat Barcelona in 2007-2008 Champions league semi-finals. I want to get stunned as I was when friends around me were celebrating when Edwin Van der Sar saved Anelka’s penalty and United were crowned European champions.

I want to let alcohol do the talking through Sher-o-shayari with some amazing friends from XLRI on TFEMR L-top and watch the huge flames coming out of Tata Steel change colour from blue to pink to yellow to black. I want to shriek in happiness finding beer bottle which I thought was empty, half full, experiencing firsthand the,’ is the glass half-empty, or half-full’ adage.

No matter whatever, however, wherever you do or plan to do, remembrance of some memories from past instantly bring out the response, ‘one more time’.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Art of Leaving

The first question which can come to your mind after reading the title is, “Did you mean Art of Living? “, ‘Google-search suggestion’ style. And probably if I mistakenly say yes, there will be millions of different views on art of leaving, just like google throws up millions of links if we click on suggested option. But no, I didn’t mean art of living. Living in my opinion is as much a science as art. I would really like to discuss this further with someone capable (read ‘vella’,’jobless’).

‘Art of Leaving’ phrase came to my mind while chatting with a friend few days back (Thanks, O friend!!). But I was pretty sure that there are many jobless people like me (& that friend :P) in this world and this phrase surely must have been popped in some ‘creative’ (?) mind earlier. So, I did google search. Google didn’t suggest alternative option- ‘art of living’. In fact Art of leaving itself was one of the suggestions in search box as soon as I typed ‘Art of…’. Now, mind runs 98979695959 raised to the power 23456007708 times faster than typing as proved by scientist Shambhumani. A word on Shambhumani. He is a maverick. BM-A XLRI, 2011 batch, ‘consumer behaviour’ course students should be knowing him through ‘Shambhumani, his gf Riya, lone servant Ramlal and their haunted house’ story which was discussed in class. Shambhumani’s theory was at work and even before I had finished typing, my mind thought that Google is very smart and it has predicted that people, especially in Asia might invariably be making spelling mistake between Living and Leaving and hence put Art of Leaving as a suggestion to help them.

First 3 results in google search were in fact on Art of Living foundation. But 5th result was titled ‘Art of Leaving’. Finally I had found someone creative. Art of Leaving is a 2004 documentary by Brian Kamerzel. It is described as a journey of self-discovery for a Romanian immigrant trying to regain the past through painting. I decided to explore it later. There was also a link on ‘Art of leaving and living forever’ on Indian PR blog site. It talked about trying to leave a thought so even while you leave an organization, you can live forever in minds of organization and its people. I marked it as ‘to be read later'(when I will decide to quit an organization). Instead I decided to note down what I thought is art of leaving and I remembered following anecdotes:

In school, once sports events were going on. Instead of cheering I thought that it was more logical to run away. So, I along with few friends climbed and jumped 8-10 feet compound wall even without caring about the fact that my bicycle was inside and home was 5 km away!! Someone spotted us, senior boys were sent after us and everybody except me was given the popular ‘public felicitation’ (beating). Teacher found it hard to believe that someone so short and thin can even dare to climb the wall and I got benefit of doubt! This is art of leaving.

Many lecture halls have front door and back door as was the case with my junior college. Leaving through back door after attendance, in tacit collusion with other students so that teacher doesn’t suspect or choose not to suspect is art of leaving.

In Engineering, once me and one of my friend were chatting during lecture. Because of my reputation (or lack of it) only I was asked to leave the class. My friend thought that it was his moral duty not to stay and instead accompany me to canteen. So he too left the class not caring about Prof’s warning. This is art of leaving.

In XLRI, Art of Living sessions were arranged for us in first year. Sessions were split across 3 days, morning and evening. After missing morning sessions for 2 consecutive days, I was politely asked to leave the course and I along with few fellow ‘sleepy’ rebels politely left. This is art of leaving.

On a serious note, letting things go which are not in one’s control is art of leaving. Easy to say, quite difficult to practice.

Moral of the story: ‘Leave and let Leave’

Friday, June 25, 2010

The Window Seat

It is a pleasant morning. My study table is strategically located near the window of my hostel room. There are trees very near to the window, so close as if they want to sneak in. But most of the times, we Indians carry out the important conversations with our friends at the door when they decide to leave. Similarly the trees and I discuss important topics, staying at the opposite sides of the window. I can see the partly cloudy sky. It has just rained, trees seem very happy and the soft rustling suggests as if trees are singing. The mild sun rays are making the rain drops on leaves shine and they look very pure- like pearls created by rain drops in Swati Nakshatra as believed in Indian astrology.

Window seat has always been very special to me. Most of us like window seats when travelling. I like it because it opens me to the outside world. I used to hate travelling by bus when I was a kid. The condition for travelling was window seat as it made puking easier. When not puking I used to keep looking for milestones and count every kilometre anticipating the destination. (I do somewhat similar in some lectures, no I don’t mean vomiting, I mean counting every minute!!!). Though Bus was and is always last option to travel for me, the ‘mature Kunal’ has learnt to enjoy it.

As I started travelling more often by trains, the window seat opened a whole new world for me. Here the probability of getting window seat is lesser and if at all one gets lucky then there is always some kid in the compartment who wants to sit there. As I grew older A.C. coaches became priority because of supposedly sophisticated crowd. But the A.C. coaches don’t offer this ‘luxury’ of looking out through the window. I stand at the doors of compartment for hours and hours together, watching and thinking. Eventually a policeman or T.T. comes and ‘shoo’s me away but I return and open the door again once they are gone.

Standing at the door, especially at night, I keep watching my shadow moving in sync with the movement of train. Once in a while, the train changes track. The perfection with which a train changes tracks and the sound generated takes me back to all the great achievements of mankind and makes me feel proud that I am also a human being, a species which is capable of doing wonders. A cold breeze blows at night, the sky is generally clear and one can see stars everywhere in the sky when the train travels through jungles and villages, a sight which no longer is so beautiful in cities because of pollution. In farms, there is an odd hut. Suddenly I feel an urge to jump from the train, go to the farm and stay there atleast for a night, watching the stars. Most of the philosophical thoughts with which I bug my near and dear ones occur during these journeys.

Once I started earning, I felt now I can travel by aeroplanes as I am no longer dependent on parents. (It is another matter that I invariably used to ask my mom to sponsor flight ticket).The window seat in Aeroplanes takes me to a different world. When plane travels through clouds I feel there can’t be any sight more beautiful than this. The sun rays cut through the clouds; it is an amazing combination of white and gold. The clouds look like fresh cotton. The overall sight makes me feel as if there exists a parallel world at other side of mountains formed of cloud, like Atlantis.
Window seat, where-ever it is, is very special but the aeroplane window seat always reminds me of a song from movie Mission Kashmir:

सो जा चंदा राजा सो जा चल सपनो में चल (Go to sleep, o’ my lovely child, my prince, let us go to dream world)
नींद की परियाँ पहेंके आई पैरों में पायल (The sleep fairies are here wearing anklets)
तुज़ को अपने नरम परो पे लेकर जाएगे (They will take you away for a ride on their soft wings,)
सोने का एक देश है जिसकी सैर कराएगे (for a stroll in a country of gold)

Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Punk who sold his Maruti

Neel was one MBA grad whose career was on exponential rise right from the time when he joined a multinational company. Neel was very charismatic and had mastered the ultimate art, ‘saying right things at right time’. He was very trendy as well, right from his college days. Whether it was clothes, accessories or electronic gadgets; everything has to be in line with latest fashion. Well, almost everything, except his beloved ,old Maruti 800 Car!! For some reason, he couldn’t let it go. The Car had no A/C, required servicing every 15 days but still was too close to his heart. Well, actual reason was, a baba, Jai Jai Shivshankar had once told him that this car represents connection between him and the ‘powers in heaven’. So long as he possesses his Maruti, he has every chance to attain nirvana, but he dare not anger the mystical powers by selling his Car.

One day, while returning from a picnic, the brakes of Car went dead on a mountain pass. Suddenly out of nowhere a big tree collapsed right in front of his vehicle. The car took off like an aeroplane, but landed 20 feet away, revolved 360 degrees, thrice and stopped. Everybody in the Car was safe and surprisingly the car was not much damaged either. His girlfriend Rene (Renuka) who was accompanying him was stunned and converted into a statue till a mild explosion from bonnet brought her back to senses. “What the hell”, she shouted getting out of the car and kicking the tyres. “Sell or throw away this Car right now or else the relationship is over”. Rene was a top HR executive in his company. Neel promised to do exactly the same once they get back.

That night he couldn’t sleep. All the memories with his beloved Maruti flashed in front of his eyes. But it was also a wakeup call. As told by Jai Jai Shivshankar, he almost saw God thanks to his Maruti. Next day he had a mysterious visitor. It was his friend Danny (DayaNayak). He talked in length about Toyota Corolla Altis and how he should buy it as the Car is ‘class above’. Neel went to Toyota showroom. His eyes immediately went to ‘Camry’ but probably it was a step too far for him. Suddenly he saw a Sage walking in suit towards him. It seemed like some miraculous transformation of an ordinary man. Afterwards he realised that it was a Toyota salesman and it was sunrays entering through transparent glasses in the background which gave the salesman a sage kind of look. Neel being a materialistic student visited showrooms of other companies like Honda,BMW,Skoda etc. After every meeting he noted down virtues and wisdom learnt as well as specific techniques and quotable quotes about the Car.

Finally, after much thought he realised that it was Toyota Altis which had rekindled his inner fire and Altis was ‘the most precious commodity’. He realised that the ultimate purpose of life is ‘change’. He got a free t-shirt as well, reading ‘Change is Good’. Neel sold his Maruti and yeah he did break up with Rene.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Phasebook of Love

Chapter 0: Perception phase
A tries to understand ‘what is love’. It is Chaos all around. He sees around the so called ‘love’ly couples. He can see that the meaning of word love is twisted, degraded and taken to new low levels. World says love is without any reason. It is blind. A scoffs at the concept. Trusts his own mind more than anything else.

Chapter1: Conception phase
A is sure nothing which exists is without any reason. So something as important as love can never exist without reason. Then what that reason is? It is when you value someone so highly that you can take on any power in the world for that person. It is when you are able to realise the best in you in that person’s presence. It is when you realise that true happiness is possible on this earth.

Chapter2: Either-Or phase
A falls in love with B. He doesn’t know the reason. He knows B is not the right match. He subconsciously knows that unknowingly he has started walking on ‘love is without reason’ path. A hates seeing himself proved wrong. B as expected doesn’t reciprocate. A hates himself even more.

Chapter3: Non-contradiction phase
A meets C. A falls in love with C. C seems perfect match. He has never met someone so special before. This time there is every reason to fall in love. He is very happy. C too doesn’t reciprocate. But this time A is still happy. Partly because his stand of ‘true love is with reason’ is vindicated and partly because of the knowledge that people like C exist.

Chapter4: A is A phase
A has no intention of meeting D. He would have loved to be perfect match of C, but doesn’t want to worry about something which is not in his control. B seems a distant memory now. Not good, not bad, but a learning experience.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

The last Cigarette

Dash!! Lost in his own thoughts he suddenly lost control of steering wheel and next minute he was thrown out of the car and was lying in pool of blood. There was not much time left. With shivering hands, he lighted a cigarette. That the cigarette is going to last 10 more minutes gave him a feeling of joy. He was very much aware that probably that’s how long his life was going to last.

While watching the burning cigarette, Life started flashing in front of his eyes …so many plans…so many goals… He had always loved the style of gently stroking cigarette bud so as to remove ash from the tip. Lying on ground, he couldn’t do it. Sarcastically, he smiled at himself.

Half way through, the feeling of ‘this cigarette is going to extinguish’ occurred to him. He needed another, but there was not much time left. Life is the ultimate goal, he thought. But in his case it was being cut short. This was not how it was supposed to end.

He looked at the stars in the sky. Someone had told him that your thoughts are disjointed but creative. He started drawing imaginary lines, joining various stars, trying to make sense out of it. Just when he thought he had found some pattern everything seemed to be going dark, stars became hazy. That’s how the life had been to him. Eyes went moist.

It was time for the golden shot. He enjoyed it like never before. He sensed the feeling where one knows he has lost but has no qualms.

Slowly the cigarette extinguished….

Friday, May 7, 2010

Numquam Moribimur...

Two days before the last league match, suddenly that sinking feeling struck me. There is very much possibility of Manchester United not being crowned domestic champions this year. Suddenly those years between 2004 and 2007 flashed in front of my eyes. At that time, a sensation named Jose Mourinho had arrived at Chelsea and threatened Manchester United’s supremacy. There were doubts everywhere about Sir Alex Ferguson’s ability to build a team again. We, fans had the faith. I personally kept believing that the league success is not far away. The re-establishment of Supremacy is around the corner. And United were back!! Sir and his new team managed to exceed expectations and surprise the fans. 3 years full of glory, 3 premier league titles, champions league, a league cup and club world cup. Players like Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo reached their true potential. Arguably the greatest club in the world was again scaling great heights. There were and are financial problems at the club but if there was 1 manager in the world who could have kept football and team separate from all the uncertainties it was Sir Alex Ferguson.

2009 came, and the inevitable happened. Cristiano Ronaldo left the club. It was never meant to be an ever-lasting relationship, it was a romantic, intimate affair. Again doubts were raised on United being able to sustain title challenge. Rooney stepped up this time, and with support from the ageless trio of Giggs-Scholes-Neville, United again challenged on both domestic and European front. Though the European challenge came to premature end, the domestic title challenge went to the wire. The Reddevil in me keeps saying that Chelsea will stumble at home against Wigan and we would win the title by beating stoke. At United, it is never over until it actually gets over. It keeps going till end. Thrice United have been crowned champions on the last day in premiership. The game is full of uncertainties and funny things happen. As Sir said few years back, “Football!!...bloody hell”. Yes it is bloody hell and that’s why it is pretty damn good.

Just few days back, Patrice Evra, on being questioned about Sir Alex’s retirement told that Sir can never sit at home, and watch football on T.V. He would rather die on the bench. This is the spirit which had carried United through for more than 110 years. This is why the banner at Old Trafford saying Numquam Moribimur (We’ll never die) is very special and close to my heart.